Laws of Life

It is time to review the Laws of Life:

1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law -
If you change grocery store lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7. Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9. Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.